P A T C C

Sometimes I feel like running away, like maybe steal a nice pickup and tell a stranger: " Hey I'll pay you just take me away somewhere far from this shit I'm going through" So this is how I feel today. I don't know if people can see it but I find it difficult carrying heavy burden and Utang na loob, Which doesn't makes sense to me until now.

I'm not a fan of keeping things to myself so I have reliable friends to tell them to but it seems that they're fed up with things that I say so maybe I just have to regulate it. They often see the bad things but as much as possible I don't want to cramp their good vibe with my wallows.

There are just things in life that shouldn't bother you at this point in time but I feel like it's a bit too late for that. Sometimes I want to throw myself off a building wondering where in the world were those days when everything's fine and normal and boring and actually I like the idea of having a boring life right now. Maybe  it's just me or the universe is not on my side these days. Seems like everyone hates me right now. The one left is my stuffed baby seal.

I just want to have fun, meet other people and expand horizons. The thought of settling everything in place is not one of the problems eighteen screwed up kids like me should worry about. I think I'm too young for that. This is the time I felt extremely emotionally exhausting, it makes me want to drop everything and, incredible mushy to say, run away far from home and shit and find myself.

I am looking forward to a better week and hopefully be preoccupied with the things I enjoy doing.Biking seems like a good idea.